


careless drinking to cover these scars

by frappeniall



Series: you don't know how to love me when you're sober [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Drinking, Fluff, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Kissing, M/M, Sad, Series, Unrequited Love, lilo, lots of lilo, small bathroom hookup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-26 22:32:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5023063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frappeniall/pseuds/frappeniall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The date was November 13, and it had been two months since Louis last saw Harry. Well, that is, if you didn't count the Instagram pictures of Harry partying with a bunch of guys. It was as though, he wanted to make Louis cry.</p><p> </p><p>[louis can't stop thinking about harry]</p>
            </blockquote>





	careless drinking to cover these scars

The date was November 13, and it had been two months since Louis last saw Harry. Well, that is, if you didn't count the Instagram pictures of Harry partying with a bunch of guys. It was as though, he wanted to make Louis cry.

Louis was doing fine, though. He had plenty of friends, a great roommate, and he loved his classes. He loves his school and everything. He talked to Liam and Niall all the time; they were even coming to visit for the weekend. Louis said he was doing fine, but he was not.

Louis couldn't sleep because all he saw was Harry kissing him, smiling at him, making him feel good. He hated drinking because it reminded him of Harry, but drinking was the only thing that helped even if it was just for a night. That was one less night that Louis laid awake wondering why. Night after night, Louis' thumb hovered over the call button next to Harry's contact, but he couldn't press it. He was too embarrassed. He had to leave his phone with someone when he drank because the last thing he wanted to do is drunk dial Harry. He didn't tried to contact Louis either. But Niall has said, that's he had asked about him a few times. 

Louis had yet to tell Liam or Niall what happened between him and Harry. He didn't even wanna think about it, let alone talk. They respected his privacy about it and Louis just wondered what he did to get such amazing friends. 

The window was open and since Louis lived on the second floor, he could hear everything that was going on outside as he laid in his bed. The door started to open and Louis sat up. His roommate, Josh, walked into the room and closed the door behind him.

Louis sighed as he laid back down, 'Oh, hey Josh.'

'Don't get too excited.' Josh joked as he threw his book bag on his bed.

'Sorry, I'm just waiting for my friends.'

'Liam and Niall? I thought they were coming next weekend?' Josh started to play on his phone, sitting in his desk chair.

'Niall works next weekend so they're coming tonight.'

Josh was about to talk when the door opened.

'Louis!' Niall screamed as he ran to Louis' bed and jumped on him.

'Boys!' Louis hugged Niall and Liam jumped on him, also. After they were done hugging, Louis wriggled his way out of his bed, 'Boys, this is Josh Devine. Josh, this is Liam Payne and Niall Horan.'

They shook hands and Liam pulled Louis aside, 'Louis, can I talk to you in the hallway?'

Louis followed him into the hallway, 'Did Niall do something?'

'Heard that!' Niall yelled from the room.

'Actually, I wanted to talk to you about Harry.'

That completely caught Louis off guard. It had been a while since Louis' heard someone else say his name.

'Wha-What about him?'

'Well, he called me a few days ago and he actually asked if he could come visit me this weekend and I told him I was busy and I couldn't not tell him about this weekend and-'

Louis cut Liam off, 'Liam, if he's here, I swear to God-'

'He's outside. Louis, he really wants to talk to you.'

'Obviously not enough to call me.' Louis rolled his eyes, 'Tell him to go home! Right now!'

'Louis, just give him a chance; he's your best friend!' 

Louis walked over to the window in the hallway and saw Harry for the first time in two months. Louis nearly dropped to the floor. He felt like he was having a panic attack and he reached for Liam.

'Louis, are you okay?' Liam grabbed his shoulder.

Louis leaned against the wall, trying to breathe. He couldn't stand the fact that Harry would just randomly show up and expect Louis to just pretend like nothing happened. He felt like he was gonna pass out. Niall and Josh ran out and sat with Louis until he caught his breath.

Niall and Josh helped Louis back into his bed. Liam told him to lay down for a few minutes while he went and talked to Harry. Josh followed Niall to his car to help him get their bags. Louis laid back and closed his eyes, trying to keep his breathing in sync.

'He freaked out when I told him you were here. He couldn't breathe; I thought he was gonna pass out.' Louis heard Liam's voice from outside his dorm room.

'Oh my god, is..is he okay?'

His voice didn't change a bit. It was still soothing, still raspy, still exactly how Louis heard it every night, running through his head. Louis wanted to shut the window but he couldn't. He needed to hear Harry's voice, as much as he hated himself for it. He needed to know why he left without saying goodbye. Why he left Louis with a crushed heart and not even a note. He even lied to Liam and Niall, saying we had already said goodbye. Louis hated how he's wasted the last two months of his life thinking about Harry. And Louis hated that he'll probably spend the next year thinking about Harry.

'He's okay now, but I don't suggest going in there, at least not now.'

'I expected that. I don't even know why I came here. I know Louis way too well, I knew he wouldn't talk to me.' Harry's voice seemed to help calm Louis' breath.

'I'm sorry, Harry. I'll try to talk to him.'

'No, the last thing I want is to upset him more. I'll just get a hotel room for the night and I'll book a flight for tomorrow.' 

It was quiet and Louis thought that Harry left, when he heard Liam, 'He literally had a panic attack up there. What did you do to him?'

Louis heard Harry sigh, 'It doesn't matter anymore.'

****

'Who's ready to get wasted?' Niall shouted as they walked into some trashed, college kid filled house, that was right off campus.

'I hate him so much.' Louis laughed while he had his arm around Liam pulling him towards the kitchen.

Louis and Liam headed into the kitchen and browsed through the different beers and whiskeys. There was a couple that was practically having sex on the kitchen counter, that they passed. As well as, a bunch of guys greeting Louis that Liam didn't know. Louis tripped over his own feet after only having two shots before they left his dorm room. Louis took another shot.

'Hey Louis!'

'Hey Jonah! This is Liam, one of my friends from high school.' Louis giggled.

Jonah was a cute, tall, biology major that lived across the hall and was in Louis' American History class. He had met him last year and they were close ever since. Louis' even told Jonah the whole story with Harry which ended in a drunk make out session, that's Louis' 99% sure that Jonah doesn't remember.

'Hi Liam. Louis talks about you all the time!' Jonah shook Liam's hand.

'Oh, he does? How cute!' Liam hugs Louis' waist as Louis tried to push him away.

'I'll meet up with you later, Jonah,' Louis laughed, 'Have fun!'

Jonah walked away before Liam let go of Louis, 'He's got a thing for you.'

'Oh shut up!' Louis poured two shots and offered one to Liam but he declined so Louis took them both.

'Whatever. But you know I'm always right about these things.' Liam grabbed a beer from the fridge, 'Well, except for the time I thought Harry had a thing for you.'

Louis didn't say anything; he just poured another shot and drank it.

Liam stared at Louis for a minute before his eyes went wide, 'Oh my god. That's it. You told Harry you like him and he doesn't feel the same.. Louis, I'm so sorry, you should've told me.'

'That's not it.' Louis grabbed the bottle of whiskey and started to walk away.

'Louis-'

'We had sex!' Louis turned around and faced Liam, 'We had sex the next before he left and I thought.. I thought the feelings were mutual. I just felt like he loved me. I know it was stupid, I knew he could never love me back but I just.. I really thought..' Tears started to roll down his cheeks.

Liam hugged him and whispered things into Louis' ear but he was not paying attention. Louis pulled away and walked to the bathroom. He looked in the mirror and wiped his tears. 

'Hey Lou, are you okay?' Jonah slurred his words from outside of the bathroom. Louis unlocked the door and Jonah walked in, 'You're crying?'

'I just,' Louis wiped his nose, 'Liam found out about Harry and he was here this morning and-'

Jonah pulled Louis into a tight hug and strokes his hair. They stood like that for a few minutes. Louis just cried, like he never has before. He was a complete sobbing mess.

He pulled away from Jonah, 'I'm such a mess, oh my god.' He wiped his eyes.

Jonah smiled at him, 'You're perfect.'

Jonah leaned in and kissedLouis. Louis kissed back to the best of his abilities, being 6 shots in. Jonah's hands made their way down to Louis' ass and he squeezed, making Louis squeal. Louis held onto Jonah's muscular arms. Louis pulled away slightly and Jonah went on to kiss his neck.

'How much have you had to drink tonight?' Louis giggled.

'Actually, I'm completely sober.' Jonah's fingers grazed the bottom of Louis' shirt and he tried to pull it up but Louis stopped him, 'What's wrong?'

'I just.. I gotta go. I'm sorry, Jonah.' Louis ran out of the bathroom and out of the house.

He sat down on the steps in front of the house. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and strolled through his contacts until he saw Harry's name. All Louis needed was alcohol in his system to help him hit that button. He put his phone to his ear and heard the phone ringing. It's 3:48 am so he got Harry's voicemail.

'Harry! How are you? Because I'm great! I'm doing great!' Louis shouted, 'I'm very drunk right now. I get drunk a lot. With all my college friends! There's so many hot guys at my school!' Louis stood up, 'I don't know where Liam or Niall went. I was with Liam but then I went to the bathroom to make out with Jonah. Oh, you'd love Jonah, he's sweet and smart and so hot.' Louis just kept rambling on, 'Yeah, we were just making out in the bathroom and his hands were on my ass and it was great. I was just making out with a hot guy and now I'm on the phone with you.' Louis paused for a moment, 'He told me I was perfect and he was completely sober unlike you who needed a bottle of vodka to fuck me. He was so sweet and I ran out to call you because I can't fucking get you off my mind. I drink all the time because of you. You just fucking left me.. Why didn't you say goodbye? You had sex with me and you just left me. You used me.' Louis sat back down, 'Why didn't you say goodbye, Harry? I love you, Harry. I'm so in love with you, it's embarrassing.' Louis started to cry again, 'Why didn't you say goodbye, Harry? Why?'

****

Louis' head was pounding and he wanted to stab himself in the stomach. He hadn't even opened his eyes yet but he already knew that the sun is shinning in his eyes. 

He pulled the blanket above his head and groaned, 'Josh?' Louis rolled around in his bed.

'Shut the fuck up.' Josh laid with his head off the end of his bed, obviously just as hung over as Louis.

Louis looked at floor to see Liam and Niall curled up without blankets. Louis takes two blankets from under his bed and threw them on Niall and Liam. He looked at his phone and saw that's it was 9:22 am which was way too early. He saw 4 missed calls from Harry and remembered the whole conversation with Harry's voicemail.

He didn't have much time to beat himself up before there was a knock on the door and all the boys groaned, 'Whoever's there, fuck off.' Josh stuffs his face into a pillow.

There was laughing from outside the door, 'It's me, Jonah.'

'It's open.' Louis said with his eyes closed.

Jonah walked in and over to Louis' bed, 'I just wanted to apologize for last night.'

'Everything's fine. Can you just close the curtains?' 

'Uh, yeah, sure.' Jonah closed the curtains and the boys all sighed in content. 'So, everything is okay between us?'

'Yes, Jonah. And please don't take this the wrong way, because I'm super hungover, but get the fuck out of here.' Louis laughed a little.

'Okay, I'll talk to you later.'

As Jonah was walking out the door, Louis noticed the writing on his arm and his stomach start to hurt. JIMMY'S 10:30AM. Louis knew exactly who wrote it. Harry.

Back in high school, or even when they would visit each other's colleges, if they went to a party, before they started drinking they would write a place and a time on both of their arms so they could meet up the next morning.

He didn't remember seeing Harry at all last night. Well, in his defense, he didn't really remember anything after he called Harry.

Louis lied in bed for the next hour, debating on whether or not he should go. Why should he go see Harry? He didn't owe it to him. If Harry really wanted to apologize, he could've done it a long time ago. Louis didn't even know if he can see Harry without having a panic attack.

Louis finally decided to get up and get dressed. He looked at his arm and sighed then walked out of the room.

Once Louis got to Jimmy's, he sat at the table they used to sit at. 10:34am. Thinking, maybe he'll get lucky and Harry won't show up.

Louis ordered a cup of tea and drank half of it before Harry arrived. Louis looked up and saw Harry walking towards him. He still looked as beautiful as he did on September 1st. He hadn't changed a bit except for the bags under his eyes had gotten darker and his hair is a little longer. It was down to his shoulders. It was beautiful. He was beautiful.

Harry stood at the table and smiled, 'I, uh, I didn't think you'd actually show up.' He lifted his arm up so Louis could see the writing on his arm that matched Louis'. 'It's like high school all over again.'

Louis stared at him with a blank stare. He was feeling so many emotions that he didn't know which one he should let show. 

Harry took his seat and messed with his hands in his lap, 'Um, the weather's nice here.'

Louis had yet to say a word.

'Listen.. I'm really sorry, Lou. I know that I'm just the worst fucking person in the world.. I know you probably don't wanna hear my excuses on why I didn't say goodbye to you, but just let me explain-'

Louis stood up, 'You're right. I don't wanna hear your excuses.' Louis walked out of the restaurant.

Harry got up, also, and chased after Louis, 'Louis, wait!' Harry grabbed Louis' arm, 'Please just-'

'Just what?' Louis turns to Harry, 'Listen to some bullshit that took you two months to think of? No thanks.'

'I wanted to call you! I just.. I couldn't. I was embarrassed. I couldn't believe I left like I did.'

'Why did you leave like that then?' Louis was starting to yell.

'I don't know! I didn't want to say goodbye..'

'I'm leaving.' Louis turned to walk away again.

Harry took a deep breath, 'Louis, wait!'

Louis walked away and decided that that would be the last time he saw Harry.

**Author's Note:**

> do not worry! there will be a part 3 and that will be the end of it! I hope you enjoyed this!!
> 
> [title is from bumper cars by alex & sierra]


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